Power Reads: This series covers books that I’ve been recommended or books that I’ve found useful in my career development. I’ve put together some of my thoughts on these books and summarised my key takeaways.
Safety, Vulnerability, and Purpose
I recently read The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle, and one idea stuck with me: the best teams and organisations aren’t the ones that avoid risk or play it safe. They’re the ones where people feel secure enough to be vulnerable. That sounds counterintuitive, but Coyle makes a compelling case—psychological safety is the foundation of innovation, collaboration, and purpose.
Key Takeaways from the Book (and Beyond):
- Safety isn’t about control: it’s about trust. The most successful teams create environments where people can speak up without fear.
- Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness: When people feel safe enough to admit mistakes and ask for help, they work better together.
- Purpose thrives in psychologically safe spaces: When you’re not in constant self-protection mode, you can focus on what really matters.
This got me thinking about how we build safety—not just in teams but in our own lives.
Building Safety in Our Own Lives
It’s easy to assume that psychological safety is only relevant to workplace culture, but the truth is, it shapes everything—from our friendships and family dynamics to our personal confidence and creativity. If we don’t feel safe, we hold back. We avoid difficult conversations, suppress our real thoughts, and hesitate to take meaningful risks.
So, how do we build real safety in our lives?
1. Creating Safe Relationships
Think about the people you feel most comfortable around. Chances are, they’re the ones who listen without judgement, who don’t make you feel small for expressing doubts or fears. That’s psychological safety in action.
Now flip it: are you creating that kind of safety for others? Do the people around you feel they can be honest without fear of criticism? Building safety starts with small things—active listening, responding with curiosity instead of defensiveness, and being willing to admit when we’re wrong.
When we create this kind of environment in our relationships, trust deepens, and real conversations happen. And that’s where growth begins.
2. Being Vulnerable First
One of the biggest lessons from The Culture Code is that safety doesn’t just appear—it has to be initiated. And often, that starts with being vulnerable first.
Coyle talks about leaders who openly admit their mistakes or ask for input rather than dictating decisions. This simple act signals to others that it’s okay to be honest, that they won’t be punished for not having all the answers.
The same applies in everyday life. If we want deeper friendships, stronger relationships, and more meaningful connections, we have to be the ones to take the first step—to share our struggles, to ask for help, to let others see the real us. It feels risky, but in reality, it’s what makes us trustworthy.
3. Challenging the Fear of Failure
So much of our hesitation—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying something new, or making a big life decision—comes down to fear. Fear of looking foolish. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of failing publicly.
But real safety isn’t about eliminating failure; it’s about making failure part of the process. The best teams don’t avoid mistakes—they learn from them, adjust, and keep moving. And the same principle applies to personal growth.
If we can reframe failure as feedback rather than a verdict on our worth, we create an internal sense of safety. We stop hesitating so much. We start focusing on progress instead of perfection. And that’s when real momentum builds.
How Safety Fuels Purpose
When we feel safe—both in our relationships and within ourselves—we’re more willing to take meaningful risks. We’re more open to trying new things, stepping outside our comfort zones, and exploring what actually excites us rather than just what feels “secure.”
Purpose isn’t about having a rigid plan; it’s about having the freedom to follow what resonates. And that freedom only comes when we’re not constantly in self-protection mode.
The most successful groups, workplaces, and relationships all share this foundation of trust and safety. And maybe that’s the real lesson: success isn’t about eliminating risk but about creating spaces—both around us and within us—where we don’t fear it.
How I Apply This in My Daily Life
Reading The Culture Code made me rethink how I approach trust, vulnerability, and purpose—not just in teams, but in my own life. Here’s what I take away and try to practise every day:
- Create safe spaces in my relationships. I make an effort to listen without judgement, encourage honesty, and admit when I’m wrong. Trust is built in the small moments.
- Be vulnerable first. Whether it’s asking for help, sharing uncertainties, or admitting mistakes, I try to lead with openness. It’s uncomfortable, but it deepens connections.
- Reframe failure as learning. Instead of fearing mistakes, I remind myself (constantly) that progress matters more than perfection. Failure isn’t the end—it’s part of the process.
- Prioritise environments where I feel safe. Whether it’s work, friendships, or creative pursuits, I pay attention to where I feel comfortable being myself—and where I don’t. If an environment stifles honesty, collaboration, or risk-taking, I question if it’s the right place for me.
- Follow what resonates. Purpose isn’t a fixed destination; it’s about having the freedom to explore and take meaningful risks. When I feel safe, I can focus on what actually excites me rather than just what feels “secure.”
At the end of the day, safety isn’t about avoiding risk—it’s about having the trust and confidence to take it. And that’s a lesson worth living.